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Baby Dreams are Crushing my Soul

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Lately I have been having baby dreams that are messing with my mind. In my dreams I am either pregnant and/or have a baby. Of course, dreams are weird so sometimes the baby takes the shape of a caterpillar or something else random, but I always know it’s my baby. I am usually blissfully happy with my strange baby and then it’s ripped from my arms at some point.

Baby Dreams Giving me Baby Blues

Baby Dreams are Crushing my Soul

I know I am not the only person who has baby dreams. But, I am the person who was sure she didn’t want kids. Who has been confident in living a DINK lifestyle and sticking with that decision. I am the person who had the long conversation with her husband before finally deciding to get help in the form of medicine for her struggling brain and mental health. My mind is seriously betraying me with these dreams.

We all know how powerful dreams can be. They can shake your soul to the core for a bit. I wake up from them feeling hollow, empty and depressed. What kind of crap is that, brain?

This year I will be 36, so I guess this is some sort of biological alarm clock going off to scare me into reproducing. I can take a few of these dreams, but they have been reoccurring now for about a month. Enough already.

The easy thing to do here would be to just let nature take its course. We are married, stable, and not in the worst position if we did get pregnant. Honestly, I am not even sure that I could get pregnant if I wanted to. However, with the meds that I am on, I cannot let that happen. Going off of them wouldn’t be wise either.

 Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids

 

And…now I am rambling. I am going to go hug my dogs.

Who else has haunting baby dreams?

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