Signs you Have the Excessive Grooming Gene

Is there an excessive grooming gene? I honestly don’t know and probably made it up, but my sister and I always say we have it. Both of us take personal grooming to another level. I am sure others can relate. We can’t be the only ones that get carried away when we finally decide to tackle some beauty routines.

Signs you Have the Excessive Grooming Gene

How you handle the following body maintenance tasks shall determine if you, too, have the possibly made up excessive grooming gene:

Zits

• You’ve almost collapsed your own trachea trying to get at a neck zit.
• Pore squeezing session too close to your eye has given you a shiner at least once in life.
• Time to get ready to go out? Oh, well, that’s the perfect time to attack every pore on your face.

Eyebrows

• The perfectionist in you won’t stop plucking until both brows are even — or gone.
• While trying to hop on the bolder brow craze, you create two bushy caterpillars.

Nails

• Filing your own nails can turn into a week long project. Those suckers are just never even. If you are like me, you probably scratch your own arm for the smoothness test. Filing shall not cease until there are no uneven edges.
• Pushing your cuticles back turns into a cannibalistic buffet. The sizes of skin you’ve bitten off have you wondering how many calories you should put into your MyFitnessPal app. (Don’t worry — my sister is working on the nutrition facts of human skin.)

Belly Button

• Cleaning your belly button is no joke. Depending on the type of belly button you have, this is a unique experience for all. I happen to have a super inny, which has caused me almost to burrow into my own womb while cleaning.

Chapped lips

• Just bite em off. Just gnaw on your own lip until it’s bleeding down your chin. At least you will get rid of that dead skin. What in the actual hell? This happens to be one of my many nervous ticks, so if you ever meet me in person, you will have the pleasure of witnessing this magic.

I am sure there are more things that I do that would qualify as over-grooming. I tend to just be an extreme human in nature.

Do you do have excessive grooming tendencies?