10 Tips on How To Talk to Your Teen About Underage Drinking
Talking to your kids about underage drinking can be an awkward nightmare. But it’s crazy important. So I’m happy to present some awesome tips inspired by Anheuser-Busch’s Family Talk About Drinking Program. I participated in an Ambassador Program on behalf of Influence Central for Anheuser-Busch’s Family Talk About Drinking Program. I received a promotional item to thank me for my participation.
10 Tips for Talking to Your Teen About Underage Drinking
1. Be available. Obviously you need to be present, but you also need to be listening and undistracted. Ditch the phones and devices and focus on your conversation.
2. Remain calm. Keep an open mind and let your teen know that you’re not going to chew their head off if they open up to you. When your teen confides in you, stay calm.
3. Be honest. I have found that being honest with my kids works best. I have shared some of my personal experiences with them and they love knowing that I’m human too and have made plenty of my own mistakes.
4. Show respect. Teenagers are desperate to be considered adults. Treating them like they’re children will only make them close themselves off to you. So treat them with respect and let them see that you’re really listening.
5. Set boundaries. Yes, they want to be treated like adults, but they also have to face reality. They’re not quite there yet. So make rules with consequences if they’re broken. Besides, adults face serious consequences when rules are disobeyed so it’s an accurate representation.
6. Stand your ground. You can be a friendly parent, but in the end, you’re still the parent. Sometimes tough love becomes necessary. So if you threaten to take the phone away, forbid use of the car, or whatever if they break a rule… DO IT.
7. Be consistent. Once the rules are in place and understood, stick with them.
8. Set a good example. Lord knows I love my wine or a good craft beer after a long day. But the kids never see me acting irresponsibly with alcohol. In fact, it was just within the last year they actually saw me drink a beer. They were shocked… not in a bad way, just in a woah, mom is drinking beer realization.
9. Know the difference between cool and actually cool. There are those wild and dangerous ‘cool’ kids and then there are the truly impressive, accomplished cool kids. Taking risks doesn’t have to mean engaging in underage drinking to impress your so-called friends. Achieving noteworthy goals like rock climbing, marathon running, or making a scientific discovery are way cooler than getting hammered in your spare time. Success is cool. Humiliating yourself in a drunken stupor is not.
10. Rehearse and repeat. Practice by discussing different scenarios where underage drinking may be an issue. Like prom, or graduation parties… Try questions like, “If your friends are drinking at the party, how will you handle it?”
Stages of Parenting
It is important to note that discussing underage drinking can–and should–be done at any age. But depending on the stage your child is in, your role may be different in how you approach the topic.
According to certified educator and parent coach, MJ Corcoran, having regular, consistent conversations with your children, throughout the different stages of their development, also helps clearly communicate and reinforce your expectations about underage drinking and the consequences.
With prom and graduation season upon us, now is a crucial time to connect with your teen. Remember to ask open-ended questions and encourage accountability. Texting is not enough!
Visit FamilyTalkAboutDrinking.com to learn more about how you can talk to your teen about this topic.
I like the blog
We have two teenage sons and we’ve spoken to them openly about drinking. We’ve also let them know that if they get into a situation where they or someone they know is drinking and planning on driving, let us know and we’ll pick them up anytime, anywhere, no questions asked.
I really don’t have any tips or anything like that that I can contribute to this topic, but I would like to share that even when I was a teen, many years ago, my parents talked to me and my siblings are the importance of underage drinking, etc. I am certain it is because of them and those talks that none of us kids never got in trouble with underage drinking.
I think that teaching through example is very important when it comes to responsible behavior.
My tip to parents is to move from a supervisor role to an adviser role in their teen’s life. Thanks for the giveaway!
I like the tip of knowing the difference between cool and actually cool while talking to kids about underage drinking.
I think it’s never too early to talk to your kids about serious topics like this.
I think that drinking is a serious topic that every parent needs to address.
I wish my parents had been able to talk straight with me about underage drinking when I was a teenager.
My oldest is 11 and we have already started discussing it with her ,and I think this also go along with smoking and drugs.
We have friends who allowed their kids to drink under age while at their home, and my husband and I totally disagreed with it! We now have 2 teenage sons and would NEVER allow it. My oldest is 18 and away at college and moved out of his dorm the last month of the semester because his room mate was drinking and leaving beer cans in their common area. He told the resident advisors on him. Of course kids were mean to him and could not believe he was the “narc”, but I supported his decision and I hope he even may have helped that kid STOP what he was doing. I know he got a violation for it. I was proud of him, but also a little scared for him with retaliation from other kids.
Oh my! That was brave and you have every reason to be proud! I also don’t agree with letting kids under 21 drink even if it’s just with family. Physiologically their bodies and internal organs just don’t need it! Thank you for sharing your story!
I like the tip of knowing the difference between cool and actually cool while talking to kids about underage drinking.
I like to use the internet as a tool to teach my kids. There are lots of great sites, MADD is one.
I don’t really have any tips but I do love how they break up the content by ages!
Teach your children well!
I think its important to keep communications open with your teen. Let them know they can come and talk to you anytime…and help them have a plan for what they would do if the situation arose with peers.
I think communication is so important. We have dinner together every night. It’s a great way to stay connected and to find out what is happening with everyone in the family.
I don’t really have any tips, though it was always easy to talk to my girls. I was a mother and not a friend. I feel that trying to be friends with your children is a big mistake. They can get friends anywhere, but they only have one mother, and a mother is really what they want, though they won’t admit that until they’re grown, in my experience, anyhow. My daughters’ would tell me, when they became an adult, that they were happy that I didn’t try to be friends. They would tell me stories of their friends’ mothers trying to be friends with their daughters and end up drinking with them or doing other things that should not be done as a parent of a child. It made me feel good that they appreciated the mother that I was and not the friend that I wasn’t. Now that my daughters’ are grown, we’re good friends. I think that the friendship part comes after children realize that being a parent is more important as they’re growing up.
I couldn’t have said it better! They’ll be great friends when they’re old enough to respect what being a grown up is. Til then, you’ve just got to be their teacher. There’s no reason you can’t be a friendly mom, but when it’s time for tough love–there’s no giving in. And we have to set a good example in ourselves. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your experience Fee!
I agree that the conversation needs to start early and often. Waiting until prom night is not a good idea.
I think addressing drinking issues with teens is an important conversation that needs to be had.
No kids. I wouldn’t know what to say.
Thanks for the contest.
I think one of the best tips I know is to set an example,by keeping alcohol in the house and drinking it in front of them.is as good as saying it’s ok Keep it hidden and don’t drink in front of the children.
I don’t know if this is a tip so much as an observation – the best thing I think I did with my now grown daughters is not hide the fact that when their dad or granny were drunk and acting like fools I didn’t hide it or play it down. None of the 4 drink to excess because they don’t want to be like that.
These tips are very helpful. Thanks for sharing!