How are your relationships doing? Not just with your significant other, but with your children, coworkers and just people in general? This book is amazing at reminding us of all the important factors in maintaining healthy relationships. The Cue Cards that this book contains will not only help your interactions with people, but it will also affect how you feel about yourself. Product was received for review purposes and this post may contain affiliate links.
When Christina Steinorth first offered me this opportunity I was hesitant. I usually stay away from book reviews because I just don’t have the time to read books lately. She assured me that this one can be used somewhat like an encyclopedia. You can just flip to the section that pertains to you and focus on that. Well, I ended up devouring the entire book! Not only is it an easy read, but it’s so interesting and relatable. Several of the sections hit home for me.
Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships is now available on Amazon.com!
Let’s back up here and let me tell you a little about the author. Christina Steinorth is a private practice psychotherapist and author. Her practice is based in Santa Barbara where she treats a variety of couples and individuals. She has a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and thank goodness she has decided to share her expertise with us in print form! I can also tell you personally, just by chatting with Christina through emails, that she is a genuinely kind and great person.
When I first read the title of the book I pictured actual cards, like flash cards or something like that. I received an advanced galley copy, so mine is the book with chapters. From what I understand, the final print will contain a deck of the cue cards. I am glad to hear it because a few of them should be in my pocket at all times. 😉
One of the reasons that this book had a big impression on me is because I am a moody you-know-what. Seriously, I may be severely flawed, but I am also extremely self-aware. I will be the first to admit that I have issues in the emotional department. Not only do I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I also wear it all over my face and entire body. I can be snappy and insensitive and I always immediately regret it! As I get older (and more self-aware), I work harder to try and keep these outbursts in check. Especially with my loved ones. So many chapters of this book can help with this!
A lot of the suggestions in the Cue Cards are common sense in my opinion. They should be things that we were taught growing up. A lot of “Golden Rule” type ideas. Having said that, we can all use reminders – OFTEN. I found myself nodding my head a lot while reading. Nodding in agreement and also at the nagging feeling that it was familiar info that I had somehow forgotten. There are several chapters that I will be scanning on a regular basis for those healthy reminders.
I think the main focus of this book is that not everyone is going to get along 100% of the time. It’s inevitable that we will all come across challenges and disagreements with others. This is not about avoiding confrontations, it’s how to handle them productively and appropriately.
Here are some of my favorite sections of this book:
The Basics: The first section is all about body language and actions while you are having a conversation with others. No matter how good you think you are at this – do not skip this chapter! We all probably know that it’s bad to cross your arms while in a group scenario. It makes you look bored, angry or just closed off. But, do you know the proper amount of eye contact to give a person that’s speaking to you? Don’t just have a stare down, there’s an actual balance that is appropriate to show interest without overdoing it. The one that applied to me is Do not finish the sentences of others… GUILTY! I do that all the time. Now that I read this it’s clear to me how obnoxious this can be. Just because I think I can predict where the conversation is going, doesn’t mean I should not let the person finish their thought! I will now make a conscious effort to stop doing this. That goes along with do not interrupt. This one makes my blood boil so I really try not to do it. My Grandmother raised me to never interrupt. She would shoot me a look of death if I did.
Mind your moods: Hello…I mentioned this above. This is something I am constantly working on. Just because I am in a bad mood does not mean I deserve to drag everyone down with me. Sometimes I wish I could just be quarantined to my room during these bouts, but that is unrealistic so I must reread this cue card constantly! She discusses why you do not want people to think of you as being moody. You make them feel like they need to “walk on eggshells” at all times. Don’t be the loose cannon. Most of the time I am like this at work, not so much at home.
Act loving: This is one of the many cue cards that are geared toward relationships with significant others. Fortunately, Mike and I are very compatible. Not saying that we are perfect, but we do get along very, very well. I am so thankful for this. He really brings out the best in me with his happy and caring nature. So, this cue card is easy for me, but it’s a very important one. She points out that a day full of love and laughter can be completely destroyed by one negative interaction. For some cruel reason, are brains are hard-wired to remember negative experiences more than positive ones. Remember this the next time you feel like nagging over something trivial. Is it really worth it?
Venting vs. Fixing: This one tends to be for the men. Women like to vent – men like to fix. There’s a cue card to make everyone aware of this! Sometimes we just want you to let us whine to you guys!
When you fight, fight fair: As I mentioned above, disagreements will occur, so ditch the name calling and fight productively. I have friends that fight all the time. They go right for the kill with name calling and a series of constant low-blows. Where the heck does that get you? Nowhere. Stick to the current problem and try to resolve it in a practical matter. This will shorten the duration of the fight and possibly fix the issue.
Making proper apologies: Do you know how to apologize correctly? There are actually four elements to make the most sincere apology. This cue card alone can possibly save a relationship. I will give you a hint to the first step – admit that you are wrong. Simple, yet huge and epic advice! People all make mistakes, it’s how you handle them that determines how they will affect you in the long run. Taking responsibility for your actions can save your butt. People respect accountability and are much more likely to forgive someone that can recognize their mistakes. On a selfish note, it will also make you feel better!
Wow, I could seriously discuss each one of these cue cards in great detail! There are ones for dealing with in-laws, elderly parents, pregnancy, teenage children…something for everyone. I am in love with this book and so glad that Christina shared this opportunity with me.
Oh, and a side note – if I come across as snarky at all in this review, I assure you this book is not. Christina does an impeccable job at discussing all of these topics tactfully and with grace. I truly believe this book can do wonders for how we feel about all relationships!
Get your copy of Cue Cards for Life today!