I had plans to go to the grocery store about six hours ago, but I keep overthinking it. This happens to me every time I have to go somewhere, but today my brain was extra strange. Some people actually just get in the car and go when they need to do something. Oh, not me. My brain needs to run through every random scenario and completely freak me out first.
Although this mental process exhausts me, it can also be quite entertaining. I mean, who thinks someone will run up and pull their pants down in the grocery store? It’s not gym class in grade school when kids thought it was funny to depants people. I am 37. It’s not going to happen in the produce section, Brain.
Trust me, it’s not like I keep overthinking because I have too much time on my hands, either. I had approximately 137 things I needed to do today, none of which involved this nonsense. And, I am aware that it is nonsense, but that doesn’t shut off my racing thoughts.
I Keep Overthinking – Thoughts Before My Trip to the Grocery Store
- Which store should I go to?
- Should I cut coupons?
- What if I get into a car accident?
- Should I make a list?
- What if I am depantsed by someone?
- Maybe I shouldn’t wear these sweatpants.
- Crap, what do I even want to make for dinner?
- Ugh, I am sweating now.
- Last time my shopping cart broke, and I had to scrape it along the floor to get to the checkout. Everyone stared.
- The truck needs gas. I better take the car.
- Just go, dummy.
- I think I will take some preventative meds. This trip is bound to cause a headache.
- What if someone needs help, but it’s a trap and I am grabbed into a van and used as material for someone’s skin suit.
- I hope I don’t see anyone that I know.
- Remember when you grabbed someone else’s cart mid-way through shopping? Let’s relive that for a while.
- What if the cashier asks me about my ice cream stockpile?
- Someone has been watching the house; I can feel it. They are waiting for me to leave so they can break in.
- Maybe I should just order Peapod. Or Instacart.
- The deli counter is going to be packed. I will probably have to take a number. #panic
- What if I buy cantaloupe and then get home and let it rot on the counter again?
- My Gram told me to never leave the house without at least applying mascara.
- I am nauseous. OMG, what if I vomit in public?
- The dryer is running. I should wait until it’s done in case the house starts on fire.
- I bet there’s a murderer in the garage, or even in the backseat waiting to strike.
- I am just going to glance at Pinterest to get some recipe ideas. #gameover
So, I finally made it to the store, and it was pretty uneventful. I didn’t take any coupons, my cart was impressively smooth, my pants stayed on, I only had two awkward social interactions, and I ran into my cousins (which was nice). The cashier did not question my ice cream but did ask about the four bags of cinnamon chips. They were on sale, and I told her to stay far away because they are basically crack. A man clearly capable of throwing his voice across the store asked a question and I tried to answer from several aisles away, which only somewhat alarmed others. Oh, and I forgot guacamole for taco night, so that sucked. Ugh, I need a nap.
I keep overthinking everything, and I know I am not alone. If you are an over thinker, please chime in. If we can laugh about it, it’s not as bad, right?