Defending the DINK Lifestyle
My dad called us DINKS the other day. I had heard the word once before but had to be reminded what it meant. D.I.N.K. is an acronym for Dual Income No Kids. Couples who are married, both work, and choose to remain child-free.
Since a cutesy name has been created for this way of living, I realized that it must be becoming more common. That led me to my Google search where I found some pretty nasty articles about it. I was kind of shocked. I mean, I know people have opinions on every topic under the sun, but why would anyone on the planet (outside of our family and friends) care if we don’t reproduce? Who the heck does it hurt?
Defending the DINK Lifestyle
Of course, every couple who makes the decision to have or not have children has their own personal reasons. I will not go into all of ours in this post, but trust me, we have several valid reasons to not have our own kids. Honestly, I think more people should think before procreating and the world would be a better place. Okay, sorry… now I am being nasty, but this topic really puts me on the offense.
There is no shortage of people on this planet. In fact, the world is completely over-populated. Even if the number of DINK couples is rising, there’s still so many more couples having babies. I know several families who have five or more kids. Consider us balancing them out a bit. I don’t think the human race is in danger of extinction at this point. (For the record — I don’t care how many kids other people have, just please don’t judge me if I have zero!)
I am old enough now to know to “never say never” but, as of right now, we have no plans to have kids. This frees up our time to enjoy each other, our pets, and do whatever we want. Not all of our decisions are selfish, though. We make a point to support many charities and help out where we can. We are in the works to start fostering dogs, and plan to rescue more when we are able to.
One of the common thoughts in the articles that I read was that the DINK lifestyle is selfish. I don’t think that’s fair to say at all. I could even argue that in some cases having children is selfish. What about the people that have more and more kids just so their government check is bigger each month? You hear about that all the time. My husband and I both work, we pay our taxes, and we give back when we can.
There are many reasons that I could be called selfish, but my decision to not have a baby is not one of them. I don’t think this lifestyle choice should be automatically stereotyped as selfish. It’s really no one’s business other than the couple involved.
Are you, or do you know any people living the DINK lifestyle? Do they experience judgement because of it?
Honestly, I respect you and your husband for living the ‘DINK’ lifestyle as you put it. I couldn’t agree with you more; some people should do a lot of thinking and planning before having kids but most don’t and that’s usually when kids are brought into a really tough life from the start.
Even though I’m almost 24, I have no desire to have kids, but as you said it’s one of those never-say-never scenarios. I truly appreciate the no-kid lifestyle; it gives you more time to spend on things you enjoy as well as focus on your significant other.
I don’t judge people who CHOOSE to have kids, but I also don’t just people who choose NOT to have kids.
It’s all part of a person’s particular life journey!
Exactly!! We are not all on the same path! There’s nothing that states that just because we CAN reproduce that we SHOULD or have to! To each their own and don’t judge other people’s plans and choices. Thanks for the comment.
Side note — I cannot believe you are almost 24. I remember us commenting back and forth before you were even 21!!! Time flies!
I think it is your own business whether you are a dink or not. I have children, but I have taught in schools where I have seen parents who I wondered why they had children as they were outspoken about not wanting them. I say it is your choice and your life. You don’t have to defend it because anyone who is criticizing is not going to listen anyway.
Yes, you do have a point there! I was just surprised to see that it bothered anyone at all! Never thought it could offend a random stranger that I don’t want a child. I have run across people like that too — that admit that they shouldn’t have had kids. :/
I had never the term DINK before so now I’m glad I know what it is. I do know some DINK couples and I don’t know if they experience judgment from other people. I hope not – everyone has the freedom to choose how to live their own life and be happy.
My husband and I dont have any kids and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I think to each their own!
There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. My sister-in-law and my sister’s sister-in-law do not have children and they are the most amazing, loving, nurturing aunts ever. For their own individual reasons, they decided not to have children and I respect them for that. My children and my nieces don’t mind either. They are treated extra special whenever their doting aunties are around. 😉
I didn’t know there was a name for couples without children. I just don’t get why anyone would care if someone else has children or not. Some people just need something to be ugly about.
My husband and I are happy with his sons from his previous marriage. They are grown now and
live on their own in Texas. But we love the freedom to go where we want to go without having them with us all the time! We have a dog who is our kid!
I don’t think it is selfish at all. I have children yet sometimes I look at those who don’t and am jealous of all you can do. HA!!! I don’t judge – all the same to me, your life, your choice! BRAVO for standing up for what you believe in
I do know people who have chosen to have no kids. It’s not for me but whatever makes them happy.
I find it really hard to wrap my head around anyone that would have a problem with this lifestyle.. it blows my mind! I def. think that if having kids is not for a couple, they should surely and most positively not have them. I am new to the term DINK… kind of hard to believe someone actually even came up with a label for the lifestyle!
I think every has the right to their own choice without judgement. The people who have kids just for a bigger check though…they really bother me, too! My husband and I did chose to have kids, but we’ve never been on assistance, we both work and support our family. If you are happy with just you and hubby and the pets, so be it! 🙂 I’m glad you are happy! <3
I would never in a million years jude somebody for their decision not to have children. Not everybody wants the same things out of life!
That’s crazy that people judge you because you choose not to have kids. I think it’s possible to have kids and not have kids for selfish reasons but I don’t think it’s the norm. How do people not know that you’re even able to have kids if you wanted to? People are crazy.
I have friends that have chose to have no kids and while I am jealous of the extra money they have, I would rather have my kids in my life. I will enjoy the day I have an empty nest though and can spoil myself!
Just stumbled across your post! I just started a blog and part of my motivation was our child-free lifestyle choice. I have certainly experienced some of your same feeling on the topic and I’m shocked at how people react. I plan on writing more on the topic as I feel we are a under-represented group and I want to put something out there for other people who make that choice. Anyway, glad I found someone sharing some similar views!
Oh, I am so glad you came by!! I am off to check out your blog. Definitely look forward to connecting with you! 🙂
Loved this. Couldn’t agree more with everything you said. Especially about the ‘selfish’ comment!
I had no idea what a DINK was! I guess I’m a SINK, single income no kids. I love kids, but I never married & didn’t feel strongly enough about being a parent to do it on my own.